Let’s continue with these personal blog posts. Coming up to end of week ten of my diet on the 16th and I think that I’m coming to my first wall. It will be 10 weeks that I have given up carbs (bread, rice, pasta style dishes), processed sugar (so fruits are generally been fine, but I just stick to bananas and dates) and alcohol. Why? Honestly, I think that it was a time for a change. I had promised [Mr] Cat (Clement) that I would lose the stomach. As a goal for the year ahead, before I got my job. I think that it will be harder to get into shape the older I get and being healthier would prevent more issues down the line.Also, I was looking back at the photo’s of my trip in Malawi and in Durban.; I don’t like the photos of me. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy. I was still eating everything and anything. I was back home (and on holiday) and I didn’t want to return wishing that I had tried a certain dish or went to certain place to try something. However, that did take a toll on my body.

I put on the weight, even with the walking around in Durban (walking at least 10,000 steps a day. Walked nearly 40,000 on my birthday). The issue for me was never fitness, I can keep up and keep on going. Dance the night away. Whatever. But, I don’t think it would have been sustainable. Listening to older men talk, they talk about how they reminisce about there time at my age. It made me realise that I should be making the most of body at this age. It’s only going to go downhill from here.

Now, losing weight for me has been a simple affair. I have done this similar diet before and have lost wight without issue. I’ve done a couple of times, usually for a month and it stays off, until I have food eating binges. Like I did on my trips recently, but I think that it was definitely worth it.

It takes around 66 days to form a habit (link to the study, it’s obviously more nuanced) and I’m pretty sure that I’ll get passed that. It’s what to do next that I’m really concerned about. I know I’ll be eating the foods that I avoid, so it’s about control. However, finding that right balance from the start is different. It’s not as though the next day you balloon up or shrivel. By the time you’re figuring things out, you may need to restart. Taken a few steps back. This is my real concern. Is can I restart? I think that’s why I’m just so determine to lose all the weight first. It’s why I can’t comprehend cheat days. They break my habit formation, but also slows me down in gaining my goal.

Finally, before I just get into a spiral of rambling, there is a concern about how I think about my body. It’s not good, how I seem to be striving at all costs for this body. What is the end goal? I said to lose the stomach, but even I know that’s not the right mindest. What happens when I get there? Do all my insecurities disappear? I doubt it. Unfortunately, that’s bigger problem.My current solution? I’m going to read Simone de Beauvoir. I’ll get back to you on how that works out.

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