Those Bollywood nights
Where memories old helped form the new
We both cut shapes on the floor
Walking out of the bar into the crisp autumn air
Across the river is the train home
We pause, not because we can’t turn back
Rather we fear what happens if we board
Do we turn our lives upside-down to chase the dream of us?
The reality reminds us of our fragility
The success could just lead to more baggage
Where it is not in our nature to be savage
To be civil we cut ties before they are woven
No betrayal to the other
We deny ourselves the opportunity to fail
We imagine that our future may contain more pain
We go our separate ways
To shed a few tears
But still not how it happened
We get asked the same question when we get home:
Shu thayu? (What happened?)
Mari jaan kem atli dukhi che? (Why is my darling upset?)
Hun prem karava dari guuy chu (I’m scared to be in love)
When you find yourself a Richard Osho, hold on to them as tight as you can, because there is no greater feeling when you find someone who loves you for nothing other than yourself.
Here’s some context. Rich and I were catching up over the phone and then Rich decided that he wanted to give me a pep talk and question everything I was doing in life. Here is the summary of the call that I wrote down the next day and read to myself each morning, even though it has nothing on the call it makes me want to go out and be the best me. Without further ado:
This city is filled with normal people. It slowly makes you comfortable with your life. As though you’ve made something, when you’ve made nothing. You need find your arrogance. I remember walking into history as the only black kid, bit scared if I was in the right place. There you were arguing from day 1 that you were right. Ready to teach and that Mr Hughes or whoever taught us history [it was Mr Owens Rich]. The only other person of colour and you act as though you were the most superior person in the room. WHERE IS THAT HANIK?!?! Where is that arrogant 16 year old? When we were at leavers you told my Dad you didn’t want to work for someone, run a family business. No. Straight up you said that you wanted to be Prime Minister. Next time we speak, I want to hear about your DREAMS! Not some girl, not your family, not work; I want to hear from the selfish git and how he’s going to take on the world. Life is short and these are our golden years; time to be the leader that New Hall enabled us to be. End of the day, no one can fulfill, apart from you. Go get your dreams. Don’t try to be normal, because we all know you’re different.
Following this chat, I didn’t last two more days at my job. I quit and am now campaigning for the Liberal Democrats in Finchley & Golders Green. Let me tell you something. I haven’t been happier in ages. It’s all due to my brother Richard. I love you bro.
The steps are steep,
There’s mean feat.
They’re easy to climb,
as your body doesn’t seem to mind.
At the top we see all this potential.
Sometimes we’re concerned about the credentials.
We all hesitate.
Not to make a mistake.
It’s our fear,
that puts us in gear.
Makes us stall,
Just before the fall.
An innocent hello.
Can turn into the most destructive hell hole
Or send us into a field of bliss.
Where all we do is kiss.