Shu Thayu

Those Bollywood nights
Where memories old helped form the new
We both cut shapes on the floor
Walking out of the bar into the crisp autumn air

Across the river is the train home
We pause, not because we can’t turn back
Rather we fear what happens if we board
Do we turn our lives upside-down to chase the dream of us?

The reality reminds us of our fragility
The success could just lead to more baggage
Where it is not in our nature to be savage
To be civil we cut ties before they are woven

No betrayal to the other
Just ourselves
We deny ourselves the opportunity to fail
We imagine that our future may contain more pain

We go our separate ways
To shed a few tears
Knowing why
But still not how it happened

We get asked the same question when we get home:

Shu thayu? (What happened?)
Mari jaan kem atli dukhi che? (Why is my darling upset?)

Hun prem karava dari guuy chu (I’m scared to be in love)

Mumbai

The city that never sleeps
Full of mystic, lights, billionaires & beggars
The playground of Indian’s elite
And kids play cricket on every street

How I miss this city
It may have the Gateway of India
But it has the gateway to azadi 
Even if the smog blocks the light

Walk down the streets as the autos and kallipilli wizz past
Dodge the gaays and guys while you follow the delightful smells
No one wears a mask as everyone looks for that suitable boy or girl
Yet all are scared of their auntie ji going chi-chi-chi when they find out that you spent the night with Sanchi

I cringe when I call my Mumbai Bomb(bae)
However I’m utterly in love
This city represents the best & the worst of my life and my desires
I feel at home in this constant chaos

Stuttering

There is no shortness breath
Say some words take heft
I look out for patience
As my thoughts are stuck in the station

My mind needs to be active
My mouth is protracted
There is intellectual theft
Even if I am not bereft

The chief culprit is me
I feel like an amputee
My knowledge dispossessed
As though I’m not even the best of the rest

Though I have no reason to want this
My ideas are just disappearing into the abyss
I know I’m lucky to have my thoughts
I just wished the ones I shared weren’t so short

This is my constant battle
While I take on the world this still causes me to rattle
I wish it was confidence
but I don’t have that evidence

Plunge

The steps are steep, There’s mean feat. They’re easy to climb, as your body doesn’t seem to mind. At the top we see all this potential. Sometimes we’re concerned about the credentials. We all hesitate. Not to make a mistake. It’s our fear, that puts us in gear. Makes us stall, Just before the fall. An innocent hello. Can turn into the most destructive hell hole Or send us into a field of bliss. Where all we do is kiss.

Grasping Air

I’ve always been a dreamer
You would describe me as ridiculous
And I would scoff at your tone as preposterous
All the fun and games, nothing wrong with our demeanour

The world is your oyster
That is what I was told
More a tale for the old
As far as I can tell, there’s not even a pot to stir

I guess it’s time to set up shop
Time to get dirty and a little bit flirty
Plenty of life yet, I’m not even thirty
There’s no reason for my dreams to be cropped.  

My name may not touch the sky
That’s not a reason to fret
Even if I have a few regrets
There’s always going to be me, myself and I

Inside

Sitting on the grass. What felt like a farce.
I left to escape hell, only to find that it was within me.
There are no demons that follow. The am the demon, the gargoyle... the mutant.
Constantly in dispair. My hope comes alive when I can escape pain; by avoiding reality.
I don't want to escape to paradise.
I just want to escape me.

Expectations

The sky is not just overcast, it’s grey. The dreary atmosphere extracting everyone’s soul. Each fibre holding it to you is torn. One by one. Slowly it stretches and strains, until snap! And it begins again, and again and again

Lucky for me, where my soul should be; there is just despair. A hole where no light reaches.

No joy. No anger. Just pain.

The lower the lows, the higher the highs; or at least they say. I close my eyes to escape. To pretend that there is bliss, that the pain is just my mind playing tricks on me.

The truth is inescapable. I’m not where I want to be.

Alone. Broken.

It’s just me now.

Poem 5

Friendship

What do we call those blissful days,
When everything we recall is just a haze,
Where every gaff is met with a laugh,
Even if it was daft, there’s no faff.

The mates you join at the pub,
Even if it’s to grabs some grub,
The ones who can jest with zest,
No matter how much rest, it’s always a fest.

Make no mistake,
There’s no limit to intake,
You just have to say hello to a fellow,
And who knows, you might have a mellow bellow.

Life is full of randomness,
That’s why we need those with candidness,
Rather than than those fake snakes,
I have a life with those who partake and keep me awake.

Let me be frank, I do rank.
I might know a ton, but you’ll always be my number one.

Poem 4

Glass ceiling
Showing me hope and dreams
The water pours down
There’s no crack

*tap tap tap*

No response?
What’s the point?
Wasn’t I born free?
Should I even care?

Just feel lost
For what cost?
Just to begin
And fit in?

If I scream and plead,
Will anyone hear me?
Or is that just part of the cruel box,
treated like a beggar; seen but not heard

Look back up, the glass has gotten thicker
Or is there more water…maybe both
There’s much to do
But I need to escape

Just fate to deal with now
Take a breath and look down
What’s that now?
I’m standing on glass

Poem 3

Working Title Rush:

Heart pumping

Each ball of sweat Just dripping I can’t ignore it

Who are these people Standing on the right

Don’t they realise

This is London

People have places to go. We don’t care if they can relax. That their friends want to chat, I’ve got a train to catch.

Waiting is a suckers game I want to murder on the dance floor, go grab dinner with grandma.  I’ve got a world to conquer. I haven’t been waiting all night for this fight.  I’ll be on the run having a some blue nun .

Might hazard a guess that I’m no Salah, But I ain’t no Paulinhio either,  I plan on Kane-ing after August,  I’m Onna-mah way to the top. Better watch out, Fergie ain’t got the time to save you.

Time for me to fly past. So move out the way or get blown away